Aubin Palmer (00:00)
Hello, Power Women. It is so good to be with you again for another episode and I just love talking with you. I think I've told you this before, but when I record these podcasts, I picture myself talking to you and I don't know how many people are listening at this time, right? When it comes out or way later, but I feel so much more connection and power myself when I'm just talking to one person. so whoever you are listening right now, wherever you are listening,
Let's talk today. Let's have a little conversation about something that I have learned and love to share and what I think will really help you to, to be the power woman that you are. And you know, I love reading books and I'm not going to do a book full book synopsis today, but I'm going to take a piece of a book that I have recently read that I loved. I think it's my favorite book of this year and it goes with abundance, which is my word of the year. And it is called the having and
I have a hard time saying the author's name, so I will do my best. It is Korean, I believe. But I will say it the best I can. It is Soo Yoon Lee and Joy Yoon Hung. And I'll give you this preference, Joy Yoon Hung is the author, but...
Su Yun Li is the guru she learned it all from and she tells you her experience of working with her. The guru is the other name she has for her so I'll say that. And she teaches her the concept of the having and it is in my opinion another word for abundance but really learning how to be in the having has been a big focus of mine ever since reading this book last week.
And it just feels so good to articulate this way and go get this book on Audible. You'll finish it super quick. And I'm going to get a hard copy too just to have it as a reference all the time because there are just so much wisdom in there. And the guru just from a young age was super wise and did so much research and studying and ends up being a money guru. And many rich wealthy people would even ask her what to do with money. And
I'm not gonna spoil the book, but go listen to it all about the having. But what I wanted to talk about today is a concept that I think is so important as an owner of a business and that is what she calls the green light or the red light. And we all know light systems. It's a universal concept. But when you are in the having and you get a green light, it is your intuition telling you that you're doing the right thing. It's another way of saying that basically.
But I think this is a question I hear a lot about money and making choices with money because how do you spend in abundance and how do you save in abundance? How do you know when it's the right time to use the money, give the money, or to keep the money, or to receive money in all in an abundant energy? And the answer in this book is a green light. And it doesn't always have to just be money. It's with
any decision you're making. And I know as a CEO, entrepreneur, leader of my own business, that being able to make big decisions is very important. You will make lots of big decisions getting started, lots of big decisions as you grow, and as you are big and as big as you want to get in your business, the bigger the decisions get. So learning to make decisions
to trust yourself, to listen to yourself is a non-negotiable skill that you have to learn. And so really tuning in to green light and red light. And it's been fascinating since I even just read this book a week ago to already seeing it showing up in my life so much. And one of the things that...
it was showing up for me with recently was pageants. So this last episode I talked about my experience in Mrs. Utah America and I thought that was it. I didn't win and so I was going to be done with pageants but there are so many pageants out there and I recently had another one offer me a spot in their pageant as a very good deal. They were giving me another person's spot so I had to even pay less and it was for this July and I was
very seriously considering it, but as I looked at it using this green light and red light model, I was lost and in confusion. And so what she teaches in the book is that when you are in a green light, you feel excited, you feel weightless, you feel expansion, even if it's a big investment, even if it's a big decision, you just feel that aligned
excited feeling and it might be a little nervous because it might be big but you have no question that it is right. Rather when we are in a red light we have the icky, the confusion, the doubt and
when I was looking at this decision for myself, I was spinning in indecision and I was reaching out to all my pageant friends, to my life and business coach, to my mastermind, to my husband and asking everyone what they thought. And I even had a deadline today to report back by noon if I was going to take this spot or not. And when it came down to it, I decided that if I had to pick between my business
or doing more pageants, I would always do my business. And while I can do both, I did this last time, it did take a significant amount of time and energy. And so it's time for me to give more energy to my business and feeling that power of I want this, it's so much fun. I enjoy doing a pageant way more than I thought I would. And it was just a whole new idea and thing in my life.
And the idea of doing another one felt so fun. I know what I'm doing better. I have experience. And it was okay to say no, not because it was bad, not because it was going to hurt me, but I didn't have a green light. And so I replied to this pageant and told them that I was going to pass this time and I was expecting to feel really sad and I immediately felt relief.
And this feeling of relief confirmed in me that it was a red light. Because when we are holding onto something and in the indecision and trying to figure out what we're gonna do and then feel relief when we say no, we know that it wasn't right for us right now. And there are gonna be so many big decisions in your business like this about what kind of offers to make, about who to hire.
about what kind of assistance to get, what kind of coaching to get. And when you're making these big decisions, often we want to use logic. And sometimes when we're just using logic, it's not enough. We could have all the logic in the world, but what can really give us that power in running a business and our lives is this green light and red light.
So what I want you to do right now is to think about something going on in your business or life that is making you wonder if this is the right thing for you to do. Is there something that just keeps coming up in your mind, but you're avoiding it because you're like, this is a big decision. Or is there something that you need to decide, but you're kind of lost in indecision and just check in with yourself and say, how do I really feel about doing this? Regardless of the cost, regardless of
the time, regardless of the implications, can I pause and feel a green light? Do I feel expansion? Do I feel freedom? Do I feel lighter when I think of doing this? think about maybe a time in your life when you have made a big decision and you did have those feelings and it did work out really well for you.
to remember, even though you didn't know it at the time maybe, that that was a green light for you.
Or are you feeling a little icky, a little stuck, a little confusion? Are you spinning in this decision? And you're spinning because while maybe logically it makes sense to do it, or even it sounds really fun and enticing, like in my example, in your gut, in your heart, you know it's a no for you right now.
Sometimes you don't have a deadline like I did which helped me decide because I was just spinning in the indecision
But if you don't have a deadline like I did, how could you step into power and use this red light or green light to decide right now?
and trusting yourself. I don't know what would played out if I had said yes to doing this pageant, but the feeling was so present that it was not a green light that I stepped forward and said no and then got the strong confirmation after with the relief.
that it was a no. It was a red light.
And when you're making this big decision, I want you to really own the power that you have. You are making the decision for this business, for your life, and everyone has this power. But really learning how to recognize the red lights and the green lights helps you recognize the power that you have so much better. And that you're not doing it because someone else told you.
It's because it's what you. And this is a concept I really love to help my clients to see. Because sometimes people think having a coach means that the coach is going to just tell you everything to do. And one of my favorite things to remind them is that they are the genius of their own life. And I am the coach helping them see and recognize that.
You are the star athlete. I am the coach on the sideline helping you make the plays, helping you decide what to do, but I am not on the court. You are. You make the plays and seeing that you are the genius of your own life, that you have answers that I don't even have for you, that no coach has for you, that no guru has for you, helps you feel your own power and creation power in you.
to own what's going on in your life and business currently and own what you're going to create, which can feel a little like pressure and a little uncomfortable at first. But I promise when you step into full ownership, the world opens up to you because you're no longer a victim. You're no girl at the mercy of what's going on around you or happening to you. You see everything is happening for you and that you create it.
that you're a part in it. And you're definitely a co-creator. We are not the all-unipotent ourselves, but you do play a big part in it, the way the universe works, the way God works with the universe. And so feeling this power, feeling this creation available to you, looking at the example we just did, what is the next step you need to take? Maybe it is like I did, I had to send a message and say, no, maybe it is.
changing some things in the structure of your business, maybe having to fire some people, maybe having to hire some people, but changing some structural things, even when it's a red light, like things might be how they are and need to change. The red light not might be doing something new, but changing how things are. And that can be even more uncomfortable because our...
Brains love things to stay the same and predictable and even when they're uncomfortable and not what we want, it feels safer there. And so recognizing that and taking the courage and I love to remind everybody that courage means taking action even when it's scary. It does not mean that you're not scared at all and that everything's easy peasy. I'm just such a courageous hero. It means that even when things are hard or a little bit scary that you do it anyway. And this
this feeling and experience I had today, I just knew I had to do a podcast episode about because I was in fear. I was like, what if I miss out? What if this is such a cool experience I could have? But deciding that I was the genius of my own life, that I own my life and my business, that I get to decide what I really want, what really matters to me, and then trusting my own intuition.
the green light or the red light and doing it in full abundance in the having again read the book to really understand what that means but feeling full and complete and that everything is working for me gave me that power to say no to recognize the red light and even when I wasn't a hundred percent it was sure a red light I knew it wasn't a green light so then it was a red light and then I got the confirmation that it was a red light and
Sometimes that's how it'll happen for you. But learning to recognize the red lights and green lights in your life and business is so important. And sometimes it can help to have someone to talk to. So if you need anybody, always open to send me a message on Instagram at Abenpolymercoaching or in my email, send an email, abenpolymercoaching at gmail.com and we can talk. Because if you need help.
discerning the red light or green light, I would love to help you do that. And if you're excited to read The Having and would like a book club to read it with, that is the book we're gonna be reading next month in Power Women Book Club, which is a part of the Membership in Ambitious Women Collective, and it is open to join right now. So if you're at all interested in having a group of women to talk mindset, money, and marketing with every week,
and a book club where we read books on those three subjects as well. Our book next week is the have, or next week, next month is the having and it would be a great time to read it with a group of other power women to really step into the having, to recognize the red lights and green lights and to do everything you do in your business with other women. So there's a link in the show notes and it is open to join right now. So we would love to have you in there and I
hope you're having a great day, whatever you're doing and that you can feel more power and move forward and commit. It's easy when you're listening to a podcast to say, okay, I know what I'm going to do and then not do it. We walk through something in your business and life right now that it's a red light or green light and I want you to act on it because if it's a green light, move forward too. That can be just as scary sometimes, but it's still courageous and move forward. Decide if it's a red light or green light and the next step of action you're going to take.
right now and go do it. Decide when you're going to do it. Move forward. That is how you create the miracles you're wanting. All right, power. And this was great to see you again this week and I look forward to talking with you again next week. I'll see you then.
