120. Resilience in Transition With Kimberly Chatto

March 24, 2025

In this episode of the Power Women podcast, hosts Aubin Palmer and Kimberly Chatto engage in a deep conversation about empowerment, personal growth, and their own unique journeys. They explore themes of resilience, the importance of community, and the process of reclaiming one's identity after significant life changes. Both women share their experiences and insights on setting goals, navigating challenges, and the supportive sisterhood found within the pageant community. They emphasizes the power of decision-making and the importance of aligning one's life with personal values and aspirations.

Takeaways

Sharing stories helps others realize they are not alone.
Personal growth often comes from uncomfortable experiences.

You can always return to previous paths in life.

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Episode Transcript

Aubin Palmer (00:01)
Welcome Power Women. have a special episode for you today with another podcast host. Hi, Kim.

Kimberly Chatto (00:08)
Hi, Robin, how are you?

Aubin Palmer (00:09)
Good, so Kim and I both have podcasts and we both invited each other to be guests and then we realized why record two episodes? Why not just record one together and make it kind of more like a co-host episode? We have very similar platforms of what we talk about on our podcast, so why not just talk to each other since we both do conversational and make it work? So that's what we're gonna do today. I love it. So.

Kimberly Chatto (00:29)
Absolutely. Super excited. Yes.

Aubin Palmer (00:34)
For those that are more knowing Kim's world, my name is Aubyn and I, this is Power Women, I love to talk to women, hear their story of finding their power, inspire others, and Kim, introduce what you do and who you are.

Kimberly Chatto (00:46)
Yeah, absolutely. So I'm the host of Highly Favored. It's my platform and my podcast, and we focus on stories of resiliency with the intent to just help build community and make life a little bit less isolated.

Aubin Palmer (00:59)
I love it and

we both keep saying the word platform if you don't know we know each other through Mrs. Utah America American Mrs. Miss Utah American. There's like three different crowns and so we're both involved in that pageant that is this month March 29th and so we both that is how we met and we both do podcasts. So this has just been like a perfect experience to get to know each other and hear what each other's purpose our platform and then even do podcasting together. So

We wanted to talk today, just kind of introducing ourselves. Like we were both on each other's podcasts, but at the same time. So we're just going to go with it and have a conversation and bring you with us. So we're excited. So go ahead and start us off, Kim, like introduce yourself and what kind of your story is, where you started.

Kimberly Chatto (01:38)
you

Yeah, I'm so excited too. So I'm Kim Chotto. Like I said, I'm part of the Highly Favored team. And I am kind of new to Utah. I moved here about a year ago and I separated from the Air Force at that exact same time. had, went to probably, yeah, I moved eight times with the military, was ready to get to Utah, start my life, kind of plant some roots. And I am not from here. I don't have any ties to Utah except for becoming a defense contractor and this

weapon system I work on. And so it was all a big bold adventure and I have two amazing kids. I'm a single mom and they're incredible. Like they're definitely the guiding factor in my life but I learned so much as a military officer, so much through working. I worked in special operations and I was a public affairs officer so I was speaking on behalf of the Air Force and all sorts of adventures and experiences through that and now here I am competing in a pageant.

That's how I met Obed.

Aubin Palmer (02:46)
I love, I was gonna say like, military

is probably one of the most masculine things we think of, and pageantry is one of the most feminine, and you're just diving both. And I just think that's such a cool thing about you that you're like, I'm gonna do anything that I'm interested in. It doesn't matter the stereotypes of it, and that's so.

Kimberly Chatto (03:01)
Absolutely, think how my brain best works is I'm like, I like that, I'm going to go do that. I got to Utah and then I have a master's degree but I was like, you know what, let's go get my MBA. So I'm going through my MBA program. I had a law class the other day and I'm like, maybe I'll go to law school. So my brain is an interesting thing but I love to challenge myself and I think that if I was to remain stagnant, it would be so boring. And so I'm constantly doing stuff, constantly pushing myself

Aubin Palmer (03:24)
Yeah.

Kimberly Chatto (03:30)
for like new goals, new motivating factors and it's fun. I have a great time.

Aubin Palmer (03:35)
amazing and

I can tell like we could go so many directions with what where you have found your power but do you remember a specific kind of story in your journey where you like really started to believe in yourself to do big things like you're doing now you make it sound so easy but there's lots of people that want to do a pageant or law school or business school and they don't even do it so what's giving you that power to see that ability in yourself

Kimberly Chatto (04:00)
I definitely think different points in my military career combined with just my personal life. I was married for almost nine years and I navigated that aspect of my Air Force career, almost all of it, as being a married person. And then when I got divorced, it was this huge mind shift set and I was like, okay, let's dig into that. How can I feel more empowered? How can I redefine myself? How can I do things? And everything was different. Everything felt out of my comfort zone.

I think I had to realize like in a way no one was coming to save me and so I was just like alright I need to be able to restructure how I view myself, my goals, how I kind of want to attack life and I also really wanted to set a strong example for my kids and so that was just a huge thing for me where I'm like I have to do this and it doesn't have to be big or bold. You don't have to go get your MBA or move to an entirely different state but you do have to move. You do have to put one foot in front of the other and do

something and for me it turns out to be big things but it can be anything and in terms of that you just have to keep moving forward and advocating for yourself.

Aubin Palmer (05:10)
Yeah, I really like how you said that, that it doesn't have to be big things, because that's something I've run into a lot when I talk to people about their power, is that they're like, I don't have a story. And I say, everyone has a story. Everyone has a moment of doubting themselves, but then realizing, no, I can do this. This is possible for me. And that shift in how you're thinking about yourself, how you're feeling about what you're going to do, and then actually doing it, that's your power. And that's what I love people to see. And it doesn't have to be.

Kimberly Chatto (05:21)
Yes, everyone does.

Aubin Palmer (05:39)
As big as an MBA, it can be though, like you said, but it could be just like deciding to keep your job, deciding to stay where you are, but changing how you're approaching it. So with your story of moving to Utah, getting an MBA, being in Miss Utah, America Strong, what do you feel like is the biggest thing motivating you right now behind all that you're doing?

Kimberly Chatto (06:03)
I think for all the things that I'm doing, I really love the concept of growth and also pursuing your goals. I'm a very goal-driven person, so I'm constantly setting goals. I don't know if there's ever a time in my life that I wasn't, but that fits my personality, and so that's why I would do that. And so I think the motivating factor is just seeing, it's so rewarding to set a goal and reach at me, like, I did that. I pushed myself, and I was just talking to

This is Utah, America, Chelsea Rasmussen the other day. And for me, the pageant experience, I knew that there was going to be such exponential growth in the process and the journey. And I was like, I could eat that up with two spoons. Like, yes, that's what I want to do. And the celebration is going on stage and doing all these different components and competing with all these amazing women. But what I wanted was the growth. I wanted to challenge myself. And kind of what I was talking about before is I was a spokesperson for the Air Force in my active duty career.

And so I was constantly put into situations where people are saying, how do you respond in a crisis? How do you help set up dynamics or operations or exercises for special operations? Like how can you speak on behalf of this? And I'm used to that. But now put me on stage and say, well, what's your or an interview with the judge and say, what's your plan for the next five years? And I'm like, that's a great question. Let me think about that. But I could tell you all about like military operation dynamics. And so it's challenging yourself in a different way.

and

I think that it's like a muscle. Like let's see how we can stretch and grow and really get those repetitions in in a different way so that I think it's fun. I mean, I think you become a stronger, better person this way. But I also wholeheartedly recognize that the women competing in a pageant are consenting and putting themselves to be like, let's do this really hard thing. Let's be an essentially judge. There are judges. You are being judged and critiqued. Exactly. And that is a posture that very few people

Aubin Palmer (07:58)
Yeah, it's literally being judged, yeah.

Kimberly Chatto (08:03)
want to put themselves in and so it's just a fun thing to be like hey and you're supported like this pageant system you're incredibly supported by the women around you and I think we can all see that like hey every single one of these women are choosing to challenge themselves in a different way and you are going to be a different person at the end of it and that's really cool.

Aubin Palmer (08:04)
Right?

Yeah,

I think that's so true what you're saying about the pageant. And when I joined too, I thought it was just gonna be about my personal growth, but seeing how much we're helping each other grow has been my favorite surprise, I would say, of the pageant because you think that it'd be a little bit more competitive. Not that I want it to be, but I kind of expected it to be, and I was pleasantly surprised how kind and the sisterhood that we have created.

Kimberly Chatto (08:39)
Mm-hmm, absolutely.

Mm-hmm.

Aubin Palmer (08:53)
So we're like, let's help each other's podcast. Let's give each other help. Everyone's sharing stuff, advice, beauty tips. Hey, this is how the shoes you should get. It's just been so fun to see the camaraderie and collaboration. I think the words I would use, and they all start with C. So we're not competition. We're camaraderie and collaboration and sisterhood, too. I think that.

Kimberly Chatto (09:03)
Yes.

Aubin Palmer (09:17)
I've always loved that. I've always had that in my life. I've looked for it, but I didn't realize that's what I was going to get from the pageant. And so that's been a wonderful part of it. And I loved how you're talking about you love goals and that you're doing this more to that growth in yourself. And then the pageant is the actual celebration of that growth. It's not as that that takes that competitive edge out of it, though. I think the way you're framing it for yourself, because then it's just I win no matter what. I did it. I came. I love myself. I gave myself this and

Kimberly Chatto (09:24)
Yes!

Aubin Palmer (09:47)
And that's beautiful. So I question for you with that is what do you feel like you're growing in the most? Like how is doing this pageant helping you grow?

Kimberly Chatto (09:57)
For sure. When I signed up...

I think I was 10 months after my separation from the Air Force. when you separate from the military, there is a Department of Defense requirement for you to take a transition assistance class. And every class I've ever taken in preparation to leave the Air Force, they're like, hey, it's a huge monumental event. It's like they equated to like a divorce or a death. Like it's that type of emotional impact on your mental, emotional, spiritual health, everything, right? And so it's really...

interesting in that sense where I was like, okay, noted, and then you go through it. And I think every single aspect of it is so different because everybody is just like, yep, it impact my separation or retirement from the military impacted me like this. And you could relate to that or it could be completely different from you. Like it's huge because so much of your identity and less than 1 % of the US population has any affiliation to the military. So it can be a really hard and challenging mindset to

relate to, but your entire identity is kind of wrapped into it. If you have a family, in terms of immediate family, they're impacted by it, your entire lifestyle, where you move, the friends you make, every aspect of your life is impacted by this, and then you're no longer in it. And so I really wanted to grow in the sense of building my identity back as Kim Chato and not Captain Chato, or not Air Force Officer Chato. And I could tell that I really wanted to do something like that so that I felt different about myself.

by the end of it. Like I needed to kind of have a hard reset in terms of how I viewed myself.

Aubin Palmer (11:36)
love that though that you saw that this big event in your life that could lead to a lot of emotional distress but you instead found a way to help yourself grow. And my favorite thing you said is like reclaiming identity as Kim Chado. Like that's who you are and you always were but you had to identify a different way just in that role but you always were you. And I think that's so powerful to see that and that you found something to help you do that because you could have done it anyway. You could have just like.

decided to do it, right? But I think that's beautiful that you saw like, no, doing something else like this pageant will help me really have to reclaim that identity a lot faster. And I love how you said it and I've heard other people talk about this, the pageant really, why people do it so much. Like it's kind of funny because this is, I think, both of our first time, but other people do it for years. And once they win one pageant, they go find another system. And you're like, why?

And from what I've understood is it is this growth, this time and attention and devotion you give to taking care of yourself. you wanna be at your best for this. And so it forces you to grow and that's a natural human desire. We all want that. And so having the pageant like this is a beautiful way that you found in your situation of, I love the word separating from the military to still.

be you and not let that identity of the military let you fall into depression. And so that's my question for you is how kind of they kind of converged on each other of like the time away from the military stepping into the pageant. Has it been an emotional roller coaster or have you found that you've been pretty okay, resilient? I know you're resilient but like how stable has it been for you with having those converge on each other?

Kimberly Chatto (13:26)
I think honestly the pageant, if I could have probably done it sooner, that might have been a little bit more helpful. But at the same time, I'm not sure if that would have been helpful or not. I thought about this a lot because when I signed up, I'm like, I think this would be necessary. I wanted something to work toward. I wanted the structure, which again is from the military. I wanted the structure of like, okay, here's a schedule to work towards this. Here's different components that you need

to essentially practice and work toward. And so I was just like, okay, I like this. But I also recognized that by the time I had signed up, there's different phases that you go through, at least in my experience when I separated from the Air Force. At first I was like incredibly joyous. Like yes, like this is a new chapter. I have like my identity back. I'm just Kim. I have so much power in terms of the choices of my life again. And then I miss the camaraderie of the military.

Aubin Palmer (14:14)
you

Kimberly Chatto (14:26)
I missed a lot of the mission set and the pride and I also I know a lot of people experience this but I also work specifically with the special operations community which is a whole different ball game and it's one of the best communities I could have asked to have the privilege of working with and for and we were so close-knit and it was really hard to be like okay well now I'm going to move to Utah. I moved into a neighborhood. My neighbors are lovely incredibly welcoming and everything but it's not the same.

And you, it's different when, I went from this dynamic of.

Aubin Palmer (14:56)
Yeah.

Kimberly Chatto (15:01)
I was very girly still. It fits for being a pageant, but I was a very girly Air Force officer still, but I'd be hiking mountains with green berets or Navy SEALs, and we'd be talking about our lives and our goals and the things that motivated us. And now I'm like in Utah talking to my elderly neighbors about Homeowner Association Lawn Care. Like it's just a vastly different dynamic. And so it's just like, okay, I wanted something to help kind of ease that transition and give me something to that was challenging again.

Aubin Palmer (15:20)
Thank

Go.

Kimberly Chatto (15:31)
And yeah, pageants are a different way of going about it. It's very unconventional, but I would say for women separating from the military or retiring, consider it because it's been really fun. And also, it helped to ease some of that camaraderie aspect because I got to make so many friends. And that was another aspect of the goal too, where I recognized if I'm moving to a new place and I don't have connections here, I needed to be so intentional about making friends. And I practiced that in the military because you move, I moved every two years of my adult life.

And so you get very good at being like, okay, I've moved here I'm gonna meet my neighbors and the running joke is you meet your neighbor and then you say hey Do you mind being an emergency contact for my kid? Because that's exactly how that happens, but we're used to it and and military folks just kind of get that type of dynamic But I recognize that I'm like I need to be very intentional about meeting a community of women who can support me and I can have friends here and And also Utah has a unique culture in itself

I wasn't used to, so I'm just like, I'd be really nice to meet people who are used to it and we can share hobbies together, we can get to know each other. They can introduce me to cool things to do here. And that was also really an amazing aspect of the pageant. You make friends fast. And they're amazing women, like just the coolest people you could meet. So I'm really grateful for that.

Aubin Palmer (16:41)
Yeah.

Yeah, so

my dying question is you've been talking about this is what made you pick Utah?

Kimberly Chatto (16:56)
because I'm a defense contractor for a specific weapon system that is being developed in Utah. I was, so when I was in the Air Force, I was a nuclear combat crew commander, and then I was a public affairs officer for special operations. So it's the new Sentinel weapon system being developed at Hill Air Force Base.

Aubin Palmer (17:15)
Okay, so you

decided to still work contract-based for the Air Force, but this was the Air Force that you needed to work. So you kind of were guided to come to Utah based on the job you wanted to do when you left.

Kimberly Chatto (17:24)
Yes, yes. So I had a couple different defense contracting positions around the country and they just focused on different mission sets. I was most familiar with this one and so I thought, why not? I actually knew quite a few people who work for it. A lot of the job that we used to just call the Missileer, a lot of Missileers that I was stationed with in Montana and so we're all in Utah now and just a really great group of folks, really appreciated, again, the camaraderie that we had.

in that sense and now we're civilians but defense contractors and so it was kind of a nice stepping stone from hey we have this dynamic here in the Air Force and now we're civilians but we have something similar to that too.

Aubin Palmer (18:08)
Yeah, and

I think this leads to my next question as you've been talking. What made you decide to separate from the military in a sense? Because it sounds like you still work for them, but like what brought this? That's a big decision it sounds like. So what led to?

Kimberly Chatto (18:20)
Yeah, so as a defense contractor, I'm just a civilian. I, it's basically like the US military, specifically the Air Force, hires like a corporation to assist with the project. So I'm basically like a corporation person now. But I decided to separate from the Air Force for, it's like a really complicated answer. The Air Force is, serving the military in general is just a difficult lifestyle. I'm a single mom.

Arguably, I would say that the military's dynamic from serving for over 11 years, and I also come from a big military family too, it really functions on this idea that the active duty service member is a guy and he is married to a wife. She serves solely in a stay-at-home capacity, and if they want to have children, she will provide all the care in taking care of them and any needs that they have, right?

And that's not just to say that impacts me as a single mom. If you are a single service member, male or female, there's just unique challenges with that too. And so I just overwhelmingly saw that there was a lot of assumptions in terms of how the system is. And you can have phenomenal leadership that is supportive no matter what your family dynamic or bachelorette life kind of promotes. But yeah, so there's just a lot of unique challenges with that.

I had served in South Korea for two years, my absolute favorite assignment, but I went unaccompanied, so my children stayed in New Mexico while I was in Korea for two years. And it reset or helped me discern a lot of my priorities.

After that, I think it really changed my lens in terms of how I saw service and what I wanted to do. And that's not saying that I might not do the Guard or Reserve in the future, but I just very much recognized that there were certain military dynamics where I, the want to serve outside of that capacity was stronger than it was to stay in.

Aubin Palmer (20:28)
Yeah,

those are big. I think that's important. that you, that sounds like power to me that you saw your priorities and decided what you were gonna do with your life, even though you loved what you were doing and it was what you'd given so many of years to already. It wasn't right anymore. And I think that's so important for power.

to see that what was right last year might not be right for you now. And that, I love the word you said of discernment. Like that, that comes from you because it's not the same for everyone. Like your circumstances, your life, what you want, your priorities, those are gonna create what's right for you. And I think that's one of my favorite things to point out with power is that no one else is gonna tell you what is right for you. That's you and that you have to be in tune and aligned with yourself to be able to get those kind of big answers.

And it could be the big decisions like you've made to even daily little decisions. So that's beautiful that you were able to see that and do that. And that's led you to where you are today and what you're doing.

Kimberly Chatto (21:33)
No, absolutely. thank you for that was just a beautiful perspective on it in terms of like gaining power because I will say that I Committed so much of my adult life and like my first career as an adult for over 11 years was to the the military and so deciding to leave that was so It felt like an amputation like it was so it was hard. It's still as hard someday. So So yeah, no, I appreciate that like there's there's

you have to remind yourself like why or the motivating factors behind this decision and and sometimes some of its out of our control sometimes some of it is within our control and yeah I'm still I think in that the aftermath of it and really embracing what that looks like and and even being in defense contracting is a again like I said before it's like a baby step out of it so there's days where I'm like could I do something that's not defense contracting I've been having conversations about that like would I ever feel comfortable doing that

Aubin Palmer (22:08)
Yeah.

Kimberly Chatto (22:33)
And so we'll see. It's still a process. I would actively say that leaving the military, it's going to look different. It's going to feel weird all of the time. But I would agree with you. It is gaining power back in a certain way.

Aubin Palmer (22:49)
That's

beautiful. And I really, I worked as a nurse for eight years and then I became a life coach and I was trying to do both, run my own business and work at the hospital, 12 hour shifts. And I came to a point where I said, I have to choose one. I can't do both anymore. And I totally understand what you're talking about where it can feel almost disempowering at first that you're having to make the decision. But when you lean into yourself and decide, this is what's right for me,

and others might not understand and that's okay, this is what I'm gonna do, this is what's right for me. And so that's what I did. I quit at the hospital in 2021 and I have moved forward so strongly with my coaching business and I've loved it. it's, no one else could have told me what was right, no one else could have made me live that it's right. You have to own it and decide how you're gonna make it work for you. But that's.

That's what power is. That's what we're always talking about. think power is a word we throw around to like, be in your power. And people are like, what does that even mean though, really? And I think that giving examples like this is the best way for people to see it. Cause it's not necessarily easy and maybe it's not always as big as like the examples we just gave with both of our stories. But I think it really is that inward belief that inside this is what's right for me. Others might not understand and doing it anyway.

Kimberly Chatto (24:12)
No, I love that. I'm also curious, how did you get started in life coaching where you're like, yes, let me make this another business.

Aubin Palmer (24:19)
Yeah, that's a great

question because I had always wanted to be a nurse like from the time I was a little girl and so I loved going to the doctor. I loved getting shots like I was funny and my mom said you should be a nurse when you grow up and that idea got planted in my head and I just latched onto it my whole life and so even when I was in high school I took the right classes. I did stuff to be a nurse. College, I worked hard, got into nursing school and

And I loved it. It was me. It was perfect. It was a great job for me. And I'd always always wanted to have a house, kids, a husband, like the little American perfect family kind of dream and like that we kind of are told that's what we want. And I just remember I had all of that. I had two little girls, a husband. We had a fun love story. We were so happy. I had my dream job and I was miserable. I was so depressed. I was crying all the time.

I couldn't sleep at night. I had anxiety as well. I actually lean more to anxiety than depression. And I was worried about stuff all the time. I would stay up till like 2 a.m. cleaning my house, because that's the only thing I felt like I had control over. Just like funny stuff like that. And then I found life coaching through podcasts and it just changed my whole life just to hear. So it's probably why I love podcasts so much. Like that was like the pivotal, it's where I really saw the change in me.

of just seeing like I could think about things differently and that our thoughts are what create our emotions. So there is clinical depression and anxiety, but I was more on the thought side of just like how I was thinking about my life was creating the depression and anxiety for me. And it's actually very common for most people because our brains are designed to help us and protect us. And if we aren't

conscious of it and aware of what we're thinking, we're gonna think thoughts that are a little bit more depressing and worry driven. And no one had ever taught me that I didn't have to think that way so that if my house isn't perfectly clean that I don't have to be upset about it. And I was like, wait, what? I can choose what I think regardless of how clean my house is? And so that's like a simple example, but like letting go of how clean my house, like if you could see my house right now, you would laugh because.

It is, especially with the pageant right now, I have let go completely of how clean my house is, but it's been a big transition. yeah, so I certified in 2020 at the Life Coach School and I didn't know how I was gonna transition with being a nurse and Life Coach, but I was like, oh, I can do both. Cause I'm kind of like you where I'm like, if I like something, I just do it. And I'm like, I'll figure it out, it'll work. And I don't, I sometimes can see that it's gonna impact things, but.

No one knows exactly how it's all gonna play out, right? So that was fun that I tried to do both for a couple years and that was hard. But then we were trying to have another baby. I think this was the driving factor for me because we couldn't get pregnant and I had done a ton of fertility treatment and I was working two jobs. Stress might have been a factor in the fertility, right? So it was so funny because I quit in March of 2021 and I got pregnant a couple months later.

Kimberly Chatto (27:25)
yeah, absolutely.

Aubin Palmer (27:33)
We had our third little girl and I knew I was supposed to have three girls. Like you know how sometimes you just have some random things you know? I was like, I have three girls. I just knew it and it was a girl. of course it was and so, and that was just like a big moment in my life of when I, I know I'd taken some big steps of like certifying and I worked so hard to become a nurse. It was so competitive. So I'd known to how to follow myself a little bit but I think that moment of when I quit as a nurse and really just said,

I'm gonna run my own business. Now I've got to learn how to do that. Because I was doing it, but I was ready to go all in on it and make that my income that I was providing so I had to get good at it. Like I was doing it, but I was like, it's okay. Whatever I make is fine. And I was like, no, I got to actually like make some money doing this. And so no one told me to do it. It was 100 % my decision. And I think that's when I switched. I didn't realize how much of my life I was listening to others and like,

People always say, I coach people on this all the time, like, they say that I have to keep my job as a nurse and I'll ask who is they and people don't have an answer and that's what I was doing. I was like, they say that I have to keep my job as a nurse because I work so hard for it and there was no they. But in our mind there somehow is of like, this is what people expect of me, this is what's right but it wasn't right.

Kimberly Chatto (28:47)
Right.

Aubin Palmer (28:57)
It was good, but it wasn't the right thing for me anymore, and that's okay to let go of that. So, that was a big moment.

Kimberly Chatto (29:03)
yes,

absolutely and I love how you touched on, at least how I interpreted this idea of expectations management. We were like, okay well I worked so hard toward this particular goal and again, I goals. I worked so hard toward this, now I'm here and at least I've experienced this in my life where I'm like, this is not looking the way I thought it would. Okay, so what do I do from here? And that can feel so big, like this really momentous decision because you're like, but I did all the right things. I followed all the right steps.

I did the things that I was told were the right things to do and I'm at this point and it doesn't look or feel the way that I thought it would or I'm deeply unhappy or this is not good for my mental health. There's so many different like second and third order effects from that and I've experienced that so much in my life as well and I think it's really good to sit down and have those difficult conversations with yourself, with your family, whoever are those motivating factors in your life and be like okay what did you do from here? Like do I stay? Do I?

the military, whatever this, you're contracted, right? Like you've signed the dotted lines, you're like, all right, what do I do from here? Certain points where you're just unhappy with something, you have to be like, hey, what do I have control of in my life? And for me, that was like, can we get extra training? Can we go do this? Can we...

find a hobby or something that's fulfilling in my life outside of this. And so I get it and I really appreciate being like, hey, this isn't what I thought it was going to be. I think there's goodness and also recognizing like sometimes it doesn't look the way you thought it would.

Aubin Palmer (30:35)
Yeah,

I think that's so powerful. And I think to point out, like I loved it when I did it. Like when I first became an nurse, I was like, it's it, I'm here, my dreams are true. And I did it for eight years, like over eight years. And it wasn't that it was bad, but it wasn't right anymore. And I think that, I feel like that's kind of your journey too at the military is like, this was what you wanted and it was great and it served you until it wasn't the right thing for you anymore. And that's, that takes a lot of discernment. So obviously we're both good at that, but.

But that does, I know that can be a struggle for a lot of people to like use that discernment and not that it was easy for, it sounds like it was a journey for both of us to find that and decide and move forward with it, but it doesn't sound like either of us regrets it either.

Kimberly Chatto (31:20)
I mean, I think too that none of this process is linear. You know what I mean? There's points where I'm like, okay, is this what I want? Did I do this correctly? Do I need to reflect and go back? And so it's okay to keep it going as a cycle. It's okay to go back to other steps. It's okay to keep moving forward or taking a pause. I think it's important to be like, doesn't have to look a certain way. I just believe for me in my life, you gotta take forward steps for sure.

Aubin Palmer (31:25)
Yeah.

Yeah, I love that and I think that goes a lot with letting go of like how you're supposed to do it because it's like, well if you decided to quit the military, you can never go back. Of course you could go back. You could go back whenever you want because you're listening to yourself and when it's the right time, you'll decide to do that. And like I keep my nursing license. I have to take continuing education, but I'm like, no, I work so damn hard for that license. I am not letting go of that. So I'm not using it, but I keep it because I don't know what the future holds or where it could come in my favor to have that and maybe.

you know, who knows what the economy's gonna do and I will need to have a stable job like that and I will have that option. And so I love keeping that as an option and saying, I'll know if it's the right thing for me when and if it is. And right now it's not, so I'm good.

Kimberly Chatto (32:32)
No worries, my cat is trying to go in my lap right now and I'm like, please and not now. So if you see like drastic arm movements, I'm like, no sir, not now. He's lovely. But no, I love that. And I think you also bring up a great point about, I think sometimes people externally will see like, she is killing it at life and she's full send, she's doing this. And it's like, okay, like we, there's risk management. Like we're humans, we think and calculate about like,

Aubin Palmer (32:36)
I love it.

Love it! Kitty cat.

Kimberly Chatto (33:02)
this the best thing? And I'm like, okay, yes. Right now it's that, but for me too, it's just like, I separated from the Air Force, I'm a defense contractor now. You know, I'm doing all the right things, but I also am getting my MBA. I also get certifications. I also am thinking, like, should I go to law school? Like, yes, I'm a little bit of like a dopamine hit. Like, I wanna do this, I wanna get my pilot's license and do all these things. But there's also level of risk management and like fiscal responsibility and making a plan about like, okay, what are my backup plans here?

Aubin Palmer (33:05)
Yeah.

Kimberly Chatto (33:32)
but what is the process that I want to follow and kind of what's my why? What are the, again, the motivating factors about why I want to do this? And I'm just like you where I'm like, I want to back a plan for, I also have a single mom. Like I have to have a backup plan because I got to provide for little kids in my life and I'm a strong independent woman. I need a plan.

Aubin Palmer (33:51)
Yeah, I love that.

I can still say in both of us, we're like, I got this and I have another plan too. I'll always take care of things and that's power that we have that. I love that about both of us and that we can see that. I am interested to hear more about each of our platforms for the pageant. I think that would be fun to talk about because they are similar but different.

Kimberly Chatto (34:05)
you

Mm-hmm. Yes.

Aubin Palmer (34:16)
Do you wanna share your platform? This could be a practice for your interview if you want. Share your answer.

Kimberly Chatto (34:22)
Sure, absolutely. And my platform, highly favored, came a lot from my separation from the military. I came from this incredibly beautiful, supportive community environment of people who understood what you were going through, especially the special operations community. Like people were there for you. They're making meal trains. They're showing up. They're helping to watch your kids. It was just so integrated and they were there and they became your best friends. And then when I left the military and I moved to an entirely new

didn't know anybody, it can feel lonely and isolating and I just could recognize that the things that I was feeling were amplified because of, again, that identity separation. But you could see it from anybody. could see it from just a society in general was craving community and wanted that. And so I really wanted to share people's resiliency stories to be like, this is what people go through. You're not dealing with through life by yourself. You're going through all of these things.

and it's amazing and you're not alone and and so yeah that was like a huge motivating factor behind the concept of being highly favored is that your testimony your story is going to become this guiding thing for other people to know that they can do like to and and for veterans from a veterans lens that is hugely important for veterans you'll see that in a lot of narratives from veteran organizations because no joke that identity separation is a huge deal a lot of people unfortunately do not

Aubin Palmer (35:37)
No.

Kimberly Chatto (35:52)
do not take that well. And so there's a lot of impact from it and it's a deep passion of mine, not just for the veterans community, but I just think our community needs it. People need each other. We need that village.

Aubin Palmer (36:04)
Yeah, that's beautiful.

So how have you been implementing that with your platform and community when you've been doing this?

Kimberly Chatto (36:09)
Yeah,

absolutely. So right now it's the heavily podcast focus because I've been trying to pull stories from people both big and small, but just saying like, hey, and also the beauty of the pageant is that it's like the most unconventional way of like the most resilient women you'll ever find. And I think it, I think sometimes in a way pageants make those stories more palatable because you're like, here's a person, she is bubbly and extroverted and outgoing. She wants to share her story, right? And then you hear what she's been through and you're like, holy cow.

She's done that she's doing it. She's not only like she was not she might have been discouraged But she picked herself back up like I love the the quote of the man of the man in the arena by Teddy Roosevelt combined with dr. Brene Brown's version of it where it's just like these are the women in the arena with blood sweat and tears and they're they know that people in the peanut gallery have thoughts and opinions, but they're just like I don't have time for that I can only do this in front of me, and I'm going to do it so well and I Women are such a force of nature

Aubin Palmer (36:54)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Kimberly Chatto (37:09)
And so I think that with the pageant sharing these stories and starting that, that's where I am at right now. But I would love to get to a point where we're doing workshops, where scholarships are involved, or people are like, I have a dream and I'm going to impact my community this way, or neighborhood projects. There's a lot to start off there. I'm just excited to see what I can grow from this pageant and this experience. But I want to hear more about yours and how that's inspired that. And I also would love to hear

Aubin Palmer (37:36)
yes, thank you!

Kimberly Chatto (37:39)
or two about like how you heard about the pageant, you're just like, yes, this is the thing that I'm committed to.

Aubin Palmer (37:44)
yeah. Yeah, I think

they're kind of integrated. So that's a perfect question. But the first point I wanted to make is that one of my words with my platform of Power Women Stand Tall and Shine Together is resiliency or resilient. And I think that's why we're so in common with our platforms is we're both using that word. And so I made an acronym with power, which is perspective P O oneness W wants E energy are resilience. And those are the five steps I have.

found to like access your own power to like make it not just an idea like be in your power but how and that those steps help you see that power so I've been teaching that a lot in places but to go back I'll get there more later but to come back to how I found the pageant I met Chelsea Rasmussen too who won last year as Mrs. Utah America

Just online. We're just in the same Facebook groups and Instagram communities and she was promoting people to join because that's part of her job and it kind of struck a chord with me because I also have scoliosis and kyphosis so my back I've heard it called a deformity. I'm like I don't know if I would call it that or a disability or something and I'm like I guess technically it is but um It's been a big insecurity my whole life

and doctors have called it cosmetic surgery and I'm like, no, my back hurts. Like, I can't function completely normal, but that's another story for another day. But just accepting myself and loving myself despite that and growing to a point of because of that, because when I was younger, or even like two or three years ago younger, people would say, oh, you're so beautiful. You could be a pageant queen. And in my head immediately I would say, no, I can't. My back isn't perfectly straight.

I'm not good enough. Everyone has some reason they're not good enough and if you hold on to that, you live that, you feel that. And so I've done a lot of work becoming a life coach and finding my self-identity and loving myself, learning who I am, so much more than how I look, right? That's what society has taught women easily to value themselves on. But I like, I just think of it as like, this is just an expression of who I am. This isn't who I am anymore.

So anyway, when I met Chelsea and she was promoting the pageant, the thought crossed my mind of like, well, maybe I could do that. And it was such like a different world than I had lived in my whole life of thinking, I am not enough. I am not enough. I am not enough. And having learned what it really means to be empowered, I realized I want to do this pageant as a big power move for no one else but me. And so it has been such an incredible journey because

I thought I had all the confidence and all the self-belief and having to do all the stuff to prepare for the pageant is really like smacking that up against me and making sure I still really believe in myself and still think like, I am enough. I can just be me and I don't need to compare or look at what other people are doing. I want to just shine as who I am. And so that's where I got like the second part of, cause I've talked about Power Women for years. It's been here on my podcast.

But I made it my platform and then added stand tall in reference to myself standing tall and shining together because I have been dimming my light for so many years. And I really believe that when we shine our own light, it helps others to shine. And so we all can shine our brightest together and it doesn't hurt anybody. I think somehow I believe that, that if I shine, I'm dimming other people, I'm hurting other people.

It's not logical, but somehow I think it is a common belief for people. so, believing that I am just shining for this pageant and believing in myself in full power. And this is kind of the same as what you were saying of like, just standing on that stage and saying, I'm standing tall my way. Maybe I don't stand as tall as her, but that doesn't matter. My back isn't as straight as hers, but I'm standing tall my way. And...

that is winning for me. And so that energy just makes it so much growth for me. And just really saying, you were wrong, silly little brain, I am enough, and I just proved it. So I am excited for the pageant just to have that experience with myself. Our relationship with ourself is so important. So it's been kind of fun to kind of say, look, who was wrong? Me. And I can do this.

really just shine as myself and be in full power just by doing this. I hope it takes that confidence to so many more places in my life. And I wanna use this story. And so I've been using this acronym and this story of my back just to do the podcast. And I'm actually doing a book as well. I've been gathering stories and...

I'm going for 50, I'm not quite there, so I need more if anyone listening still wants to contribute a story of kind of like what me and Kimmy were talking about today of just like a moment of power in your life and how you shifted your perspective. You saw that you were one with other people in God, that you recognized what you wanted and even if that's not what you had, you leaned into what you wanted and went for it. And that gave you the energy of believing in yourself and feeling good about it and taking those actions.

to have the resilience that you need to be in power. And so that is my acronym. That is how I have lived it. And it it has been so transformational to use it in just doing this pageant. And I, I want to help more people. And I just say like, what if every woman in Utah believes she could do anything she wants, despite any limiting beliefs she has, insecurities like my back. Now I'm doing this pageant saying,

screw you brain, you were wrong, I'm doing it anyway. Like, how would Utah be so different if every woman was doing that? And so that's kind of my mission is to hold community events and online events as much as possible. Do the podcast, do the book, get on more platforms, more podcasts, and just share this as much as possible because it's available. Your power's always there, but you have to choose to be in your power and to use it. And so when you're letting...

the ideas of society control you, you're not in your power and that's your choice. So I want to help women choose to have their power.

Kimberly Chatto (44:22)
I love that so much. also really love how you added standing tall and sharing from that perspective because that's like a huge thing too as you navigate the pageant that I wasn't necessarily expecting. Like you have these incredible women. They're so supportive and so wonderful. And then as you're like reflecting on stuff, like even after workshops, at least for me, like there's some interesting insecurities that'll pop up that I wasn't necessarily anticipating. And I think that is such a phenomenal reminder to be like,

be secure in who you are and understand like, hey, this is my why. And every single one of these women have a different why as to what motivates all of these different things for them. And I think that's just so hugely important. And I love that aspect of it because that's the growth. when I was saying like, this is the meat and potatoes of why I wanna do this pageant, it is that growth and it's uncomfortable. And I think that's something that people don't necessarily address is how uncomfortable that growth is.

Aubin Palmer (45:15)
Yeah.

Kimberly Chatto (45:22)
processes, but you can recognize like, why am I feeling insecure? Why am I thinking this? Why am I comparing myself? And there's some things too where you're just like, wow, that's an insecurity? Like that popped up? It's when I, like the pageant process digs in and it refines and you're, you better be ready because you don't even know what's going to refine yet, but it's going to refine.

Aubin Palmer (45:34)
Yeah.

Yeah. Exactly.

Exactly. I know we're

like promoting it without even trying to because we're feeling that impact in our lives right now. I can tell both of us are and that it's it's almost hard to describe. I feel like the growth exactly that it happens, but you could choose to be in full comparison. And some people have dropped out. And I asked and it's more than normal. And I'm not sure why, because I feel like we have a great group of sisterhood and

I think it's not that there's competition or rivalry. think it is what we're talking about. Just that coming up against this insecurity and the growth and it's too much. It's too intense for people. And so they're like, this isn't for me. I can't do this right now. And that's okay. I respect them. I'm not saying they're wrong at all. But it's just interesting to watch that it is happening that people join and then drop out before it's happening because, and we don't know exactly why, but this is my guess of like, this is.

a growing process and you have to either face this uncomfortable feeling of saying, I really enough? I don't want to compare. Can I stand tall and shine bright my way? And that, sometimes that is too much for people and they do drop out. And so it's not just about standing on a stage in a pretty dress at all.

Kimberly Chatto (47:02)
No, 100%, and I think people do think that, or it's like it's a beauty pageant, probably one of the most challenging things I've ever done is going through a pageant. The prep work, all of this, and it's a refinement. That's the best way I can process it is because every aspect that you're going through, even if you think something is a strength, that strength is going to get refined too. So it's a whole person process, and it's beautiful, and it's amazing, and I'm just so grateful to do it a

Aubin Palmer (47:05)
Yeah.

Yeah. Yes.

Kimberly Chatto (47:32)
alongside

really amazing women who are kind. Because I could not imagine being like, if this particular pageant system wasn't the way that it was with such supportive women, I definitely don't think that I, like this would be something for the week. I'd be like, okay, this really isn't for me. But because our pageant system is filled with the support of an amazing women, it makes it really fun and something that you want to participate in. And I really, really enjoy that aspect of it.

Aubin Palmer (47:59)
I agree.

I feel like the friendships I've made, I'm like, we're going to be friends after the pageant, right? You're not just doing this for the pageant. And they're like, of course. It's just like, it's, I've met some amazing women and I, that's all I get out of that, it's a huge win. The women that are here and I love, like we're saying that it is about helping each other shine and really supporting each other and all growing together.

That in itself helps refine you because our egos are naturally self-driven and to make something about getting judged yourself and doing your best and at the same time seeing the best in others and we're not like trying to make each other fall somehow literally or figuratively behind the scenes like we support each other that refines you to like be able to shine without the ego.

And that's where a lot of people I think fall in these kind of situations is they do make it too ego driven about them. How am I the best? How am I the only one that should win? How can I diminish others to uplift me? And I have not felt that energy at all in this pageant system of like, it's just like we're all one. We're all good. We all shine in our own way. We're all enough. And then that takes the ego out of shining as your best, which is what life can really be for everyone all the time.

Kimberly Chatto (49:28)
I think that overwhelmingly I felt this messaging of that this is a sisterhood and we're here to help each other more than anything. And this is my first pageant that I've ever competed in and that I'm very grateful for because I think if it was any other kind of narrative or something even unintentionally promoted, I really don't think that I could have like co-signed onto that. I've been like, okay, it takes a lot of work. For those who are listening, it takes a lot of work. It's an investment. So there's just a lot of aspects where I'm like if I was not wholeheartedly enjoying my

Aubin Palmer (49:54)
Mm-hmm.

Kimberly Chatto (49:58)
myself,

I wouldn't be on a podcast promoting it and talking about the growth from it and I also wouldn't compete at it, like if I didn't think that this was worthwhile. So I think we have so many women here who I'm assuming are of the similar mindset that they're like this is not just rewarding but the women are incredible and I'm having a great time. And all those factors together just like yes, let's do this. I would love to ask you a question from my podcast and I'm happy to answer it too if you would like to.

Aubin Palmer (50:06)
Right.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Kimberly Chatto (50:27)
But the theme for my season this year talks a lot about empowering ourselves really similar to your platform too. one of the questions that I've been asking everyone is from all the experiences that you've had that have made you the woman that you are today, what is something that you would say to your past self?

Aubin Palmer (50:47)
I

love that kind of question and I think kind of going with what I've already been saying is like you are enough. There's nothing you need to fix. There's nothing wrong with you. You're not doing anything wrong. Just go shine and stop worrying about what you need to change or fix and just go be you and I was the same person as my past self so that's that's the thing is like it's not like I've

grown or changed, like we were saying we like growth and we like to become better but that it's not because we're not enough or that we need to earn being enough. I think I was very motivated by that when I was younger and so while I'm like a super high achiever and I'm always doing lots of stuff and it can look like I'm trying to just earn my worth but it's really I've shifted it to I am enough so this is what I'm gonna do with it or when I was younger it was

I'm not enough, so how can I earn feeling like enough? And it's funny, because I look like the same high achiever. I was always involved in everything and trying to get straight A's when I was younger, and now I'm like, I have a business and I do pageants and I have kids and I just do all this stuff. But it's not to earn my worth anymore. It's because this is who I am. I love myself. I want to go help others feel it too. And that's been a lot of my motivation in all I do. And so I would help my younger self feel that too. So I would love to hear your answer too.

Kimberly Chatto (52:12)
Absolutely, no I love that. I love the way that you recognize you're like, I'm still the same, like that is still the same person. I think that's really important. I think that there's so much goodness in being kind to the experiences that we had in like, whenever, you know, in their past selves. I think the thing that I would say to myself that we've also seen demonstrated in the pageant is that there are people who are loudly cheering for you and if you're standing up in celebration of an achievement or something,

something, pay attention to who's standing up with you. And I feel that in the pageant, right? I feel that I'm so greatly supported. But if people aren't cheering alongside you, then those aren't your people. Like, I firmly believe that when you leave a table, the people who are there should be speaking life into like, hey, she is amazing, she's contributing, that she's doing that, she's an amazing friend. Like, those people are going to speak kindness and pour into you and share that with others. Like, and if you're not experiencing that, don't sit at those

Go find a new table to sit at. Go find new people. There are people out there who will be incredible friends who are cheering you on. just had my friend Ashton was over right now because I've been overwhelmed by multiple things in my life and she was just like, let me help you with something around your house. like, those are friendships. Those are the people who see you. And so if they're not cheering loudly for you, those aren't your people. Don't sit at those tables. Don't feel obligated to sit in those spaces. Leave. Leave that space because there are people who want to be

Aubin Palmer (53:13)
Bye.

I love that. Yeah.

Kimberly Chatto (53:42)
friend and you know what good friendships look like.

Aubin Palmer (53:46)
Yeah, that's

so beautiful and I think like sometimes we feel we have to earn people's love and they have to like us enough but what you're saying is like people that just like you for who you are and see you and celebrate with you and like don't worry about what other people think about you if they don't think you're enough they don't like what you're doing then those aren't your people so I think that's so true. I love that. You have more questions right that you do? I would love to.

Kimberly Chatto (54:07)
yeah,

yes, yes. Okay, so these last ones, they can be funny, silly, serious, however we want to take them. But the first one is, what is saving your life right now?

Aubin Palmer (54:20)
What is saving your life right

now? If I'm honest, caffeine. I have tried to not drink caffeine and I'm like, why? It works. People say there's adverse things to it. I'm like, well, I don't feel those yet. So I'm just gonna roll with it. I love pre-workout. I love energy drinks. I roll with it. That's how I get so much done. Sleep is my nemesis. I like to rest and sleep, but whenever someone asks what's your superpower you want, I'm like, I want to.

Like I would just go 24-7 if I could. So caffeine's the closest thing I found to that. How about you?

Kimberly Chatto (54:58)
I love that. You're just like, no, give it to me more caffeine. But we also live incredibly busy lives. And sometimes I think it's just like, hey, if this can help me maintain it in a healthy way, like, yeah, I'm about it. I think the thing that's saving my life right now, Ashton, she was just here, but my friendships in general, especially in Utah, I have incredible friends here, but I would say I've just got a core group of incredible women who see me. And I think that, you know, to the point that I

Aubin Palmer (55:01)
I'm sorry.

Yeah.

Kimberly Chatto (55:28)
made about people speaking life into you and saying things even when you're not seated at the table.

I can be vulnerable and honest and very genuinely myself with them and my highlight reel of my social media features so many different things that I'm doing but I also deal with some neurodivergency and so there's things where I'm like I really can't do this thing or I'm just so aware of my strengths and weaknesses but especially the things I'm like I'm really bad at this and it's hard to sometimes be vulnerable in certain spaces because you don't know how people will interpret that and my friends just embrace me and they know

Aubin Palmer (56:01)
Yeah.

Kimberly Chatto (56:04)
I just had one of my really good girlfriends from the military stay with me as a house guest and she just sees me right where I'm at and I'm just incredibly grateful for circles of women who are there for you and accept you just as you're at so absolutely that's what's saving my life right now. My girlfriends, they're incredible.

Aubin Palmer (56:22)
I love that. And I

am obsessed with being with women and I have my girls and I do girls night out, I go to networking events, I do retreats, I'm always doing girl stuff. So I'm right there with you. There's just a powerful connection between women and I think we really do lift each other up very easily if we want to.

Kimberly Chatto (56:41)
Yes, yes.

It's so funny. I love this idea of what's the most supportive place in the world? The women's bathroom. Because yes, people will see there and women will gas each other up for your outfit. They'll talk about, what's your lip color, girl? Let me help you take a picture. Women get it. And I think circles of women are so unique too because no matter what experiences we've been through, whether good or bad, and this can be a good or bad thing too,

Aubin Palmer (56:51)
It's so ugly.

Kimberly Chatto (57:11)
Like we can just relate. And so that's even with the bad stuff, can, she doesn't have to say anything we know what she's talking about. And there's, well that can be a severely like awful traumatic thing. I think the goodness from that is that I'm like, I see you and you don't have to say a thing. I'm here. I'm here in whatever capacity you need me. And I think women, circles of women who can stand by each other and lean into each other like that are,

Aubin Palmer (57:29)
now.

Kimberly Chatto (57:38)
We need to talk about that more and we need to do that more. And when you experience it, go out in the world and keep that going, perpetuate that type of goodness for sure.

Aubin Palmer (57:48)
I agree 100

% that's beautifully said.

Kimberly Chatto (57:52)
Now ready for my last two? These can be a good time. Okay, so I always talk about green lights and red lights. Green lights are the things that you like, that you advocate for. Red lights are the opposite, so things that you don't like. So what are some green lights and red lights in your life right now, Aubyn? Uh-huh.

Aubin Palmer (57:54)
Yeah, okay.

This is fun. think this shows like personality because everyone's

like, everyone seems like the same. And then when you get to know the red lights and green lights, you're like, we are different. But I think my biggest green lights are mental health. I think I'm obsessed with that right now. I mean, that's my, my job, my industry. And I think everyone needs help with it. So like my daughters have life coaches. Like I, I advocate it in my whole family.

Kimberly Chatto (58:18)
Absolutely.

Mm-hmm.

Aubin Palmer (58:38)
I have

a health coach, a marriage coach, a business coach. I'm always like tons of help and I think that is part of why I am so in line with myself and so able to do things that I do because I get help and support and I'm always working on my mental health. I'm obsessed with books. Self-help is my section of the bookstore. I try to go to the other sections. I'm like, no.

No, no, and then I go to the self-help and like, okay, this one, this one, this one. So this is my set, but I'm just always reading tens of self-help books. And I have a book club that I do, so I just love books like that. I've tried to get into the nonfiction. I'm really trying, but it's hard. Maybe it's like a yellow light right now, but I'm trying. But that's my green light is self-help books. And then my other biggest green light is fitness. I love working out and

Kimberly Chatto (59:07)
You're like, this is my jam.

Yeah.

No!

Aubin Palmer (59:33)
weight training, I've gotten really into that the last couple years and feeling strong as a woman, like literally in muscle strength is so empowering I believe because we're never gonna be as big as a man. We don't have the testosterone to have those kind of muscles. Like women that have crazy muscles have testosterone things going on. Like they've added some steroids or something like you could work out really hard and you will get very toned but you will never look like a man and.

Kimberly Chatto (59:40)
Yes.

Yeah.

Aubin Palmer (1:00:00)
really leaning into that of just being a strong woman. I love, and I think it helps your whole health. Like, not just physical health, but your mental health, your emotional health. And I guess then my last green light is having a relationship with God and the universe and just knowing we're not alone and believing that there's infinite power there. And I think sometimes when I talk about power, it can sound like I think I'm doing it all by myself.

Kimberly Chatto (1:00:07)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Aubin Palmer (1:00:30)
And I think when I was younger with religion, I used to be very dependent on God and I felt like I couldn't do anything actually. And then I came to this independence of saying like, no, I do have power, but now I've had like an interdependence with God and I know I have power, but I am not alone and I am with God and can create anything together. So that's a big green light in my life as well. What are yours?

Kimberly Chatto (1:00:39)
Mm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Okay, I love those. Those are amazing. Thank you for sharing.

So some big green lights right now. One of my favorite things is I have started looking at a different church in my local community and I'm part of an amazing Bible study. That's actually how I met Kaylin Lippert. She's Mrs. Wasatch Front and then Mrs. Rocky Mountain Abbey McGee is we're all part of this Bible study. And then jokingly, my friend Ashton, we call her my pageant husband because she's constantly like one of our

Aubin Palmer (1:01:20)
Yeah

Kimberly Chatto (1:01:26)
cheerleaders and we're like, Ashton's just coming with us. this Bible study just created this amazing community of friends, finding church communities that really pour into us and feed us and we're really big on theology and scripture and just being theologians in general. So we've been exploring this church community together. My friend Samantha invited me to it. I've been asking friends to come check it out with me, see if it's kind of pouring into you the way it's pouring into me.

Aubin Palmer (1:01:27)
Yeah

Kimberly Chatto (1:01:56)
right

across the street is this little restaurant cafe thing in Ogden, Utah. And after service, we'll go over there and just kind of fellowship and have breakfast or lunch together. And it is just pouring into me, I love it. I love sitting down and eating meals with people. I love kind of doing life with other people. that specific experience is super special to me. And I love exploring Utah. I love super green lights on just finding things. And this is just in

Aubin Palmer (1:02:11)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Kimberly Chatto (1:02:26)
I don't know, for me it's Utah right now, finding things to do, giving yourself things to look forward to. It's an amazing motivating factor. Whether you're like on StubHub or Seakeat, go get some cheap concert tickets or an event ticket. Go check out things in your local community. Put it on your calendar and go check things out. I love going to see authors and book releases in Utah. Yeah, just fun things like give yourself something to do. I think people see my schedule and they're like, holy cow, it's like this. But some of those things are just

Aubin Palmer (1:02:28)
Yeah.

That's so cool.

Kimberly Chatto (1:02:56)
Just the things that I look forward to. It doesn't have to be big or expensive. Just something to put on your calendar. Do your like, okay, this is a little, and especially I'm a single person. I'm a single mom. Like you don't have to go on a date or with your significant other or even your girlfriends, group of friends, whatever. Go find things that you enjoy that like will give you something to look forward to. I highly recommend it. Huge green light for me.

Aubin Palmer (1:03:14)
Hmm.

That's so fun. That sounds amazing. Are there any more? Those are both great.

Kimberly Chatto (1:03:22)
I know, I think like those are the big things. I mean, I feel like the last one encompasses, I do so much in Utah, like I'm constantly exploring.

Aubin Palmer (1:03:28)
You're like, so that's like

an umbrella for a lot of us.

Kimberly Chatto (1:03:31)
Yeah,

I was just gonna say one sub green light in there. I love Utah Hockey Club. I love hockey. I would go to, if I could afford it, I'd probably have season tickets. We'll see. That might be a huge thing for me next year, but I love it. I love hockey. It's so much fun. It's good time. And they're actually doing a pretty good job with the inaugural season here. It's a good time.

Aubin Palmer (1:03:36)
Okay.

So hockey is your sport?

Okay.

That's so

funny, because when you first mentioned red lights, do you know what the first thing that came to my mind that's a red light for me is sports.

Kimberly Chatto (1:04:01)
What a great transition! So your first red light is fourths.

Aubin Palmer (1:04:04)
I

was like if I had to say a red light, what would it be? It was like Kind of coming to like knowing myself as an adult now like when I was younger and dating I would go to sports events with guys all the time because you know That's what they wanted to go to for a date and I was like, okay I just want to go on a date with you and I would I would I would talk and it was still good but now if my husband's like do you want to go to this sports event like no go with a guy like I'm gonna

Kimberly Chatto (1:04:18)
sure, yeah.

Aubin Palmer (1:04:32)
do something with a girlfriend while you're gone. Like, I don't wanna go, so.

Kimberly Chatto (1:04:34)
Yeah.

I think that's a really important point though, where when you're dating, because I'm dating, sometimes you're just like, how do I present my best self? And I do like sports, but I will say as somebody who likes sports, a sporting event is kind of a big deal to go on a date with. It's a multi-hour event. And I remember people being like, well, do you want to go to this? And I'm like, it's a first date. What if we don't get along? We're committed to this for the next three hours. No thank you. I want to do coffee or a walk first.

Aubin Palmer (1:04:43)
Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're like, I'll do a coffee shop

I can get away from if I need to. Yeah. Yeah. I love it.

Kimberly Chatto (1:05:08)
Exactly. I mean, but that's to both people. Like if we're not meshing, do not put me in a tight seat in the stadium next to you for the next three hours.

But similarly, you also know what you like and you don't like, and I think that's fair to say that is not a thing that I would pair well with you on. Let's get you as someone who is going to really enjoy it so you can have the best experience. I'm all about it.

Aubin Palmer (1:05:29)
Yeah. And like, I'll be

honest, like I still, I've gone to a couple of jazz games with my husband lately and we went to a BYU Utah game. That's a Utah thing. And like, I can have fun, but it's not like something I'm like, yeah, let's go to every sport game. Like, and I don't watch him at home. Like if it's on, I'm like, I'm going to do other stuff. don't, maybe I'll like sit with my husband and read a book while he watches it. Cause I want to be with him, but I don't want to watch the game. And that's fine.

Kimberly Chatto (1:05:34)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah,

Yes,

yeah, yeah, it's like a co-activity. You're like, this is nice. Yeah, I'm down with that.

Aubin Palmer (1:06:00)
Yeah.

And that's

fine. And I think it's good just to have your red lights. And I like how you say that. Like, I'm just like, yeah, sports aren't really my thing. And that's OK. But not that I'll never go. Maybe it's kind of yellow. But it's not my favorite.

Kimberly Chatto (1:06:06)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

That's totally fair. Do you have any more red lights?

Aubin Palmer (1:06:22)
That was just really the first thing that came to my mind, which is so funny.

Kimberly Chatto (1:06:25)
I love that that was the perfect segue. You're like, and sports is mine. Yeah, hockey is a good time. don't love all sports all of the time. I'm just a big hockey fan.

Aubin Palmer (1:06:27)
But I'm glad you like hockey. That's fun.

Yeah, I think, I mean, there's like really bad stuff that are red lights to me, but I don't know if we want to go there, but just trying to think of stuff I don't like, but I like most stuff, I don't know, pretty chill. What are your other red lights? Maybe that'll help me think of them.

Kimberly Chatto (1:06:59)
I think one of my bigger red lights right now is I will say that So I'm not from Utah as I said earlier some of the the traffic maneuvers here are very interesting. I I've driven all of Yeah, yeah, I was gonna say so I've driven in Chicago South Korea like in Seoul South Korea everywhere Utahans do some weird stuff

Aubin Palmer (1:07:12)
It's literally this involving red lights that you're having red lights.

my gosh, yeah.

Okay, so I've lived here so

long, you have to tell me what's weird, because I'm probably not aware of it.

Kimberly Chatto (1:07:30)
No,

it's, I'm like so hesitant to say anything because I'm like, okay, I was like, I love all these people that I've met, but your driving is not so great. yeah, I would just say, there's just been a couple times, it was funny, I had my friend Lindsay visiting, like I said earlier, and did not dawn on me to let her know some of that. I've just been living here for a hot minute. And she's in Ogden, calls me, and we're about to go to a hot

Aubin Palmer (1:07:34)
I will not be offended as a youth.

That's something.

Kimberly Chatto (1:08:00)
game, a Grizzlies hockey game and we're getting ready and she's like girl the drivers here they're they're not actually following legal traffic laws.

Aubin Palmer (1:08:02)
Yeah?

Hahaha

Kimberly Chatto (1:08:10)
I forgot to tell you, I'm so sorry. Yeah, there's just like, and I also live and drive on I-15 a lot too. So just like merging procedures, using turn signals. There's just some interesting dynamics, like the culture of the left lane versus the right lane. There's some stuff where I'm like, why is it different here when it's like, again, I've lived all over the world with the military. Y'all do some things a little different here.

Aubin Palmer (1:08:33)
That's so funny. I'm trying to think, like, is it

kind of like how people still turn left on the red arrow? Like, like three cars can still go left even though the arrows turned red.

Kimberly Chatto (1:08:44)
That's one that's like not really commonplace anywhere else for sure that one but yeah I think like the biggest things that are like frustrating as a person who has transplanted herself here I would say merging. Merging is a hugely frustrating aspect for me. Yeah people going on to like the I-15 where it's 70 will be on the merging lane at like 30 and I'm like y'all we got to pick it up we have to get into the 70 so yeah that's that's really challenging.

Aubin Palmer (1:08:47)
Really? Okay, yeah.

Okay.

funny. That's hilarious.

Kimberly Chatto (1:09:14)
If you

see an angry Filipino woman behind you, it's probably me. But yeah, that, or in the left and right lane situation, I've just lived in so many different states. The right lane is for, like if you're going slower, middle lane, like general traffic, and then left is for transitionary to pass. People love to plant themselves in that left lane, and I'm like, oh! And they're not going the speed limit or higher, and so I'm just like, It's hard. That's overwhelmingly my biggest red light.

Aubin Palmer (1:09:41)
That's funny.

Kimberly Chatto (1:09:44)
I had to do a lot of driving recently and it was so funny having my friend Lindsay bring it up. I'm like, you were so right. I forgot about it. I've become like immune to it. But yeah, that's probably my biggest one. And then, I feel like all of mine have to do with Utah traffic. I really...

Aubin Palmer (1:09:49)
That's hilarious.

That's so funny and it's

red lights that we're talking about.

Kimberly Chatto (1:10:02)
Yeah, I know, right? It's all themed. I would

love, I don't, I've seen this in Utah and nowhere else and I come from northern states too with like wintery conditions. I would love for the road, like the white road lines to be reflective or to have a stronger white paint or something. It's, I don't know what kind of paint they use in Utah. It is impossible to see these lines. Everybody says it. At first I was like, am I, like I need to go to the optometrist. Like my eyesight is failing me. Now everyone's like, no, you can't see the lines here.

Aubin Palmer (1:10:29)
That's so funny.

Kimberly Chatto (1:10:32)
And so it all comes together, Utah Transportation Directive.

Aubin Palmer (1:10:37)
That's so funny and I've never

noticed any of those things. I'm like, really? I love it. That's funny. I think as we were talking, which had nothing to do with it, but I thought of another red light is just like people gossiping or being two-faced. Like they pretend like they're someone's friend and then talk bad about them behind their back. Like that, no, I don't. So it's like,

Kimberly Chatto (1:10:41)
Those are mine. Those are my red lights. They're all themed to traffic.

Yeah.

Aubin Palmer (1:11:06)
my favorite to if someone does that kind of stuff to like they're they're talking bad about someone and other people start to chime in and to like say something nice just to like hit him in the face with it like i really like that person because of this and they're like kind of like you were saying though they're not my people if they're going to talk like that so i'm okay if it offends them i don't i don't want to backbite and

Kimberly Chatto (1:11:14)
Mm-hmm.

Yes, yeah, no, absolutely, yeah.

Aubin Palmer (1:11:33)
It's interesting because I've gotten so good at not doing it, then when people start to do it, it really stands out. Like when people are talking about it other people, I'm like, nope, this isn't my kind of conversation. This is a red light.

Kimberly Chatto (1:11:38)
Yes,

That's been a big thing

with me too, to the point that I was talking about, that we were saying, hey, the people at your table, the people cheering for you, I've experienced it. And that became a huge factor in my life to not do it because there were points in my life where I was going through my divorce and people, but at the same time, professionally, I was experiencing so much subjective accolades and achievements and stuff. And holy goodness, the things that people would say to try to tear me down or the people

Aubin Palmer (1:11:51)
Yeah.

Kimberly Chatto (1:12:13)
who I thought were at my table cheering for me, I've experienced a lot of it. I just, think that experience with my faith and my beliefs and everything, really humbled and sobered me to not, it's just an ugly, ugly thing. I will say the thing that helps me, not just from experiencing that, but if someone starts to do it, I try really hard to understand that I can bet, I would put money on this idea that the person doing that is so insecure.

about that person right now or feeling something. So I just try to acknowledge like, hey, I can see what you're saying except like, you know, like she's doing this, this and this and similarly I know that you're going through this and this and I try to bring it out and then say I'm like, kind of just exit the situation. Cause I'm like, this is not my circle. I'm not going to contribute to this, but I do try to correct that behavior too. I hate gossip. It's the worst.

Aubin Palmer (1:13:05)
Yeah.

Yeah,

and I think it's like kind of the opposite of everything we've been talking about with sisterhood and women's circles. Like women can have that power together, but they can go the opposite direction. And that's what causes it is when we do gossip, we lose that power we have together completely.

Kimberly Chatto (1:13:16)
Mm-hmm.

Absolutely. Well, those are all my questions. Thank you for playing along with me. I think that's so fun.

Aubin Palmer (1:13:31)
Yes, I love those questions.

I might steal some of them for my episodes too. They're good. Yes, well thanks for so much for doing this with me today, Kim. This was so fun to kind of try it a different way and just interview each other at the same time and make it a little bit of a longer episode. But I think it has so much fun conversation that people will love hearing it. And I hope that both of our audiences enjoyed hearing from both of us at the same time. And is there anything else you want to add to conclude?

Kimberly Chatto (1:13:34)
Yeah, absolutely, it's a good time.

Just thank you so much for taking the time. I love this idea of co-hosting a podcast episode. I've had so much fun. For those from Aubyn's team and listening, if you'd like to get to know my platform and podcast, I'm at highlyfavored.underscoreofficial on Instagram. You can also find me at kim.underscorechato, C-H-A-T-T-O on Instagram too. And I'd love to meet you and hear from you and get to know you better.

Aubin Palmer (1:14:22)
Yes,

and same other way. I'm AbenPolymerCoaching on Instagram, and that's my website too, abenpolymercoaching.com. And my podcast is just on my website and platform, or my profile. So you can get more of my Power Run podcast there, so that's great.

Kimberly Chatto (1:14:43)
So thank you so much, Aubyn. This has been so much fun. Have a good one, bye.

Aubin Palmer (1:14:45)
Thank you. We'll talk to you later.

120. Resilience in Transition With Kimberly Chatto

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